Alone
by Sweet Bitter Life
Summary: Severus is trying to fight off the monsters of loneliness, but when you're "just okay", it's hard to keep someone at your side to help. [severus/regulus, slash]


"_We can never starve our loneliness. We can only hope that, by the company of others, it doesn't devour us."_

_..._

The almost silent sound of two exhausted breaths invaded the small dimly room, bouncing off the walls. Two bodies were intertwined with each other, the smaller one being ravished by the larger one on top. An almost guttural moan escaped from the thin lips of the smaller young man as the man on top thrust into his body, driving him into ecstasy.

More moans and groans followed, along with whispered names and soft touches everywhere. The shabby bed underneath them rattled loudly, but thanks to silencing spells, they weren't heard by the rest of the inhabitants of the apartment building.

The man on top held back a moan as he let himself release inside the fragile looking body he was holding. The young man below him had his eyes closed, enjoying the last minutes of earth-shattering bliss. His dark ashen hair was sticking to his forehead thanks to the sweat, and his chest heaved up and down, the glistering sweat making him look every more desirable than before.

The man pulled out, and let himself fall beside the younger man, and almost instantly threw up his Occlumency walls which he had carelessly dropped as he lost focus of them. His gaunt face settled into an expressionless mask, the one he wore at all times. His own hair, shoulder-length long and dark as a raven's wing, was humid also, a disgusting mixture of perspiration and grease. He groaned, knowing he would have to wash it.

The body beside him moved, until it was sitting down near the edge of the twin size bed. It was the only bed in the one-room apartment he could actually afford while he studied for his Potion's Mastery. His eyes, dark as tunnels, roamed the figure of his bed partner, as he waited for a reaction. At this point, he would welcome even a shrug or a sneer. Such was his desire for acknowledgement, even a displeased frown would be accepted.

The young man turned to look at him. His eyes locked with the stormy grey eyes of one Regulus Black, who looked at him not with the scorn or mockery he expected, but neither with unexpected amiability and gentleness. If he had to describe Regulus's stare at him, it was one of apathy and indifference.

"That…" The young Pureblood began. "was okay."

_Okay_. Their recent rendezvous was okay. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good enough. Average at most. He closed his eyes, pretending to get some rest, which he actually needed. If it was just "okay" in Regulus's eyes, then why did he feel so worn out?"

He should be used to it by now. These meetings shouldn't mean anything to him. A simple word like "okay" shouldn't make him feel so incompetent. This was an odd relationship right from the start, so he shouldn't have any expectations beyond "okay".

But when Regulus had said that word, it hadn't mean "okay". It meant that it wasn't what Regulus wanted or needed anymore. He no longer seemed to satisfy the young man's whims as he once did when they started this. Whatever this was.

And he didn't want this to end. Because he didn't think he could stand the idea of not holding Regulus body and feeling it quiver under his fingertips. Regulus wouldn't bat an eyelash if he found somebody else who could give him more than okay, and he was sure it would happen sooner or later. Regulus was a beautiful man. He could have anyone he wanted.

That's why, while he still couldn't understand why Regulus chose him in the first place, he knew he couldn't let Regulus go.

Regulus was all he had to battle the loneliness that threatened to devour his soul.

"Severus," he heard his name being whispered by that velvety voice. He opened his eyes to see that the young man was already dressed and ready to leave. As he watched him, Severus saw the remarkable contrast between Regulus and the dingy apartment around him. The Black heir certainly didn't belong in such place.

But still, Severus didn't want him to leave. He didn't want to fight off the monsters on his own.

He didn't express any of his desires though, and Regulus gave him one last nod –not even a "see you soon" like last time—and walked out the apartment, slamming the door as he disappeared.

The candle on his ebony desk, the only source of light inside the dark room, created dancing shadows on the walls, and they brought Severus's worst nightmares to life. The loneliness consumed what was left of his heart, and he resigned himself to never feel the warmth of a human body ever again.

**AN:** For Camp Potter, First Aid, Week Two. Prompts: Fragile, slamming doors, and the quote; _"We can never starve our loneliness. We can only hope that, by the company of others, it doesn't devour us."_

Word Count: 831


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